My head’s been a jumble of many things the past few weeks. So much swirling around, each metaphorical leaf making loops in the air and never landing in the same spot twice. So this blog post will seem a bit jumbled as well. I know what I mean in my mind. I just don’t know that I can get it “on paper”.
I’ve been thinking about relationships a lot. What they mean to me. And what they don’t. What commitment means to me. And what it doesn’t. Mostly, I’ve been thinking about how people move on in their lives.
I know one person who just had a breakup and the other party, 4 weeks later, already has another “friend”. Is that all they had together that the other party was able to move on so quickly? I understand that you get on with your life but really? To me it begs the question of what did it all mean to begin with. Was my friend so disposable? Or so interchangeable?
I’ve wondered that for years, especially since my ex husband moved on so very quickly after we split up. He was dating a week after I moved out. So much for the afterglow.
I’ve had so many changes in my life this past year and my biggest accomplishment frankly is that I think I’ve gotten the hang of letting go of stuff. I’m not so good at letting go of people. Sometimes people just need to be let go. I read something on FB today that said that when the past comes calling you should let it go to voicemail because it really has nothing new to say.
So I often question, when is the past the past and when is it just a chrysalis, just in a state of change? When do you know when it’s done? Like how do you know that kimchi has gone bad? It’s already fermented and smells foul. So how do you know when something has changed but is still good?
In the midst of all this STUFF going on in my head, we have New Years and everybody wanting to know what my resolutions are. Want to know? I NEVER do resolutions on New Years because I think it’s lame. Everyone does them. Everyone breaks them. It’s such a fake requirement. I DO make resolutions however. Mine just tend to be ongoing.
I will continue on the let go journey. I will continue on my healthy mind and healthy body journey. I will work on forgiving (this one is tough).
Plus my birthday is coming up next Friday! For once I’m sort of excited. I am not leaving town for the first time in years. It was always sort of an obligation and not going is very freeing. For the first time in years I can do what I want!! Tee hee!
So that’s all there is. I may or may not write more before the end of the year. Here’s to a happy, healthy and prosperous year to us all.