One thing about all the dietary changes is that without grains, seeds or nuts to make me feel sated, I am hungry all the damned time. I’m eating every 2 hours just to keep the gnawing feeling out of my belly. It’s a good thing I like fruit and veggies. And coconut. Coconut milk and coconut water are my new friends, together with my old good friends, olives and olive oil.
Thanks for reading along while I take this journey. Now I’m going to go back to my very juicy pear before I totally muck up this keyboard. 🙂
I did really well at Evo yesterday, doing 5 sets of 5 @ 75 lb. bench press. When I started a year ago, I couldn’t lift a 25 lb. bar. Now my PR is 105 lbs.
My intent (which I wrote in my new workout notebook — I’ve never had a notebook before!) is to see what my PR for dead lift is. I did 5 x 3 @ 45 lbs. and thought it was light. I can also probably do heavier for a PR on hang clean (also 5 x 3 @ 45 lbs.). I might squeak a little more than the 45 lb. on push press but that was the hardest yesterday. I did 5 x 5 @ 65 lb. on back squat and I think I should do a PR on that as well. GOALS!!
So that’s my gloat for the day. I’m proud of me.
While I feel excited for the future and know that everything will be okay (I feel a Bob Marley tune coming on), I am feeling somewhat overwhelmed and a little depressed. I suppose it’s normal. After all, my life as I’ve known it for 53 years is gone in one fell swoop.
No bread, no pasta, no cheese, no yogurt, no buckwheat, no matzo balls, no fried rice, no eggs. The list is seemingly endless since I can’t have any grains or quinoa or sorghum, or teff, or anything of that sort. Even the gluten free cookbooks use things I cannot anymore.
I find myself hungry all the time. I eat a huge salad and I’m FULL but 2 hours later I want something else. Yesterday I ate an entire grapefruit and looked for more. I’m not used to eating huge portions of meat protein but that may be the only solution I have at least for right now until I can add some beans and lentils back to my diet (7-1/2 more weeks). Nothing sates me.
Mostly, the depression is knowing that while I have baked bread for 30 years of my life and I do a good job of it, I can no longer have the silky feel of dough in my hands and the wonderful yeasty smell. I make probably the best matzo balls on Earth and I can’t have them anymore either.
I’ve been told that it gets better. Damn I sure hope so.
In the meantime, I’m looking for some recipe ideas to jump with because naked meat and salad is already getting a little old for this foodie.
Today I just learned that I am essentially allergic to wheat, yeast and gluten and that I also have Celiac Disease so I also have to cut out all grains of any stripe. Some will be forever — like corn, oats and rice — others at least a year and then we’ll see if I tolerate them — like quinoa and buckwheat.
Anyone that knows me also knows I am the pasta queen. I love baking bread.
I am also sensitive to eggs. I love eggs. I eat them like crazy. Well, no more eggs.
In addition to Celiac, I’ve been diagnosed with Hashimoto’s Thyroidosis. That’s an autoimmune disease wherein the body attacks your thyroid.
So, today I learned I have 2 autoimmune diseases. And we can add that to the IBS I’ve known about for years so that makes 3.
This is a core change in my life. Major dietary changes are a-coming. But, as a friend pointed out today, I shouldn’t think of it as being deprived. I should think of it as no longer ingesting poison — because these things have been causing poison in my body and my body has been attacking itself.
Grateful for my friend who invited me to her belly dancing class. It was a blast and fun to laugh and move.
Now, I just need to figure out what the heck I can eat!!!
I started my detox last night. As I figured, the biggest obstacles are breakfast and eating out. I have to say however that the grilled burger I had today was OUTSTANDING and I will be eating there again during this time because nobody’s got time for a bad naked burger.
Breakfast was 2 oz of meat (seriously I needed some protein) and a strawberry/coconut milk smoothie (which was very good).
I was very disappointed that the strawberries were already showing signs of some molding, especially since I only bought them Tuesday evening.
I have such amazing friends. Because of the post I made about being despondent, a friend from childhood that lives about 40 minutes away messaged me and asked what she could do for me in response to my post about being despondent. Another friend, after I made a remark about being despondent and sad, asked me to have lunch today and at lunch she said “i just want you to know that you are loved”. How truly lucky I am to have such amazing people in my life.
I took all the nutroceuticals this week and now starting tonight, I will start the elimination. I think that at home I’ll do ok and even at a restaurant as long as I can eat some protein and a veg. But that said, I had a situation today at lunch that could have been a disaster if I had already started the elimination.
I went to a luncheon. I paid for the luncheon. As usual I enjoyed the heck out of the networking and the guest speaker (Catherine Merrill-Williams, CEO and Publisher of Washingtonian Magazine). I enjoyed the location and usually enjoy the lunch. In fact, I did enjoy the lunch.
If I had started the elimination this morning however, I would have paid a pretty steep price for the luncheon and been starving afterwards. We had a salad with grilled chicken, black beans, tomatoes, avocado, corn and tortilla strips. Came with a bread side and a parfait with vanilla pudding and a few berries on top.
On the first four weeks of the elimination, I have to skip the beans, tomatoes, corn, tortilla strips, the bread (and the butter), and the vanilla pudding. Add that I don’t like avocado and gave it to a friend, I would have been left with a small salad and some grilled chicken and water. OY!! Frustration city.
This is going to take some getting used to!!
First thing I think I have to seriously consider carrying an emergency “kit” of some carrots and fruit with me at all times (since I can’t rely on nut energy bars either during the elimination).
Let the “race” begin!
So I told my best friend today that I’m despondent. It’s the first time I’ve really said that word aloud about myself and my situation. I’ve been putting on a very brave face about letting go but frankly I’m terrified and so incredibly sad.
And no, I don’t want to talk about it. I just wanted to say it. Journal it. Record it. I put it out there instead of holding it in. Now I hope I’ll start to really heal.