For quite a while I have been told that the object of my desire is a self-centered and selfish man. I have not wanted to believe that. I have defended him every single time. I wrote this in a private entry when I realized he never considered me as anything else but “friend zone”.
“I am so tired of being out in the friend zone. I am a WOMAN. I am not just a friend. I don’t want to be “like a sister”. I don’t want to be the friend that is called for a good time but ignored when there’s another woman in the picture. I want to be loved like a woman. I deserve to be treated like a woman. ”
But now the words have poured from his own mouth that it was better (to go out with me) than staying home on a Saturday night. All the while he was pining for someone else and said that he never has thought of me in any way as a long term proposition. I feel very used. And I do not know what makes me angrier, that he did it or that I allowed it.
So, although it hurts like hell, I’m gonna do this:
And I know I’ve learned an important lesson. I’m going to do my very best to stop wasting my tears on someone so self-centered that my feelings never entered his mind.